Product Developers Gifts

"Do you realise it's been eighteen months since you shouted 'eureka'?"

"We've all done our part, but now our fate rests in the hands of a higher power: Marketing."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

'Marketing says if we want to reach an older consumer our smartphones need to survive being thrown against a wall.'

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

The Computer Bore

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Bright idea

Back to work...

Friday

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

Robotics. He's programmed to play video games all day long. Planned adolescence!

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"You have word-ill."