Vp Of Product Development Gifts

"Everyone, welcome our new Vice President of Irritating Noises!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Bright idea

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Creative department

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"I need a simple fix. No one asked you to reinvent the wheel."

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"I'm naming you VP of Revolution, Action and Edgy Thinking...on one condition...that you promise not to change anything."

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"Are we overthinking this?"