Director Of Development Gifts

"The shock of an unsolicited grant was just too much."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"They grow up so fast."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Bright idea

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"I need a simple fix. No one asked you to reinvent the wheel."

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

Sales used to be through the roof, now they're through the floor.

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

"Are we overthinking this?"

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

'We're plowing our excess profits back into justifying our profits.'

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

'Now, for the hyperactive, we've come up with a lethargy drink.'

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"

'I know what we need to turn this around, a mindless product that will make money fly out of peoples pocketbooks!'