Film Developer Gifts

'The hour we develop is between 3 and 4.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

The Computer Bore

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Cut!

Back to work...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Kritik's Korner

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

The star hunters

Candid Camera store.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."