Computer Programmer Gifts

"The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that converts hindsite into foresight."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Guide us, Oh Database Manager!"

"Henry, I'm beginning to think we're on different career paths."

'I like to mix up my exercise routine. Sometimes I right click. Sometimes I double click...'

"I combine technical skill with a human interface."

The cat had figured out how to work Ebay.

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

Data Base of Useful Information, 5K. Data Base of Useless Information, 500,000,000 GB.

'You mean you once had to WRITE letters?'

'Rather than learning how to solve that, shouldn't we be learning how to operate software that can solve that problem?'

"If there's a way in, they'll find it."

'Data, data everywhere!'

'Sometimes I just feel like processing some data, but I have no data to process - other times I have the data, but I have nothing to process it with.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

'Fred has stuff on his PC that isn't PC at all!'

'Sure, you can become a systems analyst if you want to - but tell Daddy, what is a systems analyst?'

"This is the kind of place where everyone knows your mother's maiden name."

'If you want to talk to the IT service, please press 00101101100111001101110.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

OBSOLETE: Any piece of software or hardware that you bought last week for mega bucks.

Site warns website users their personal details might have been compromised...

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

Error 404: Image not Found.

Computer Hackers Club

'If Facebook is already replacing e-mail, then we should get started on a replacement for Facebook.'

Computer Expert

'You want to discuss the glitches in the software I sent you? No, Tuesday's out - how about never - is never okay?'

Former Computer Hacker, will unfreeze your computer for Bitcoin.