Tv Producer Gifts

"So. . . who'd like to have a go at defining Britishness?"

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

Audience given prompt to laugh: 'I don't think it's funny either - Now laugh!'

TV - Please stand buy. We've run out of ideas.

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

'Books that stayed books.'

'And who are your chosen subjects?'

BBC Scheduling Meeting, "The correct answer was no, we don't need another quiz show, so that's five points to the other team."

'Get real! Reality is, Reality sells'

Studio Manager: 'Righto, you're on Chef. Break a egg!'

Angels watch hell on a flatscreen.

Showbiz is tough

Senior Jeopardy!

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

'There's a thin line between good taste and bad taste. Does anyone know where that line is?'

Drivel TV, "Coming up after the break- people who feel compelled to talk absolute crap on television"

"Won't anybody say anything?"

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

'The story you are about to see is based on fact, but we added lots of contrived nonsense to maintain market share.'

'What's the fool doing? I distinctly told him to LIE in front of the cameras!!'

'This morning we start a special feature in which we surprise an average American at home as they prepare for a new day.'

'We interrupt this program for new pictures of Brad and Angelina's baby.'

INTERACTIVE TV

The Weather Channel Fall Lineup

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"CNN will have 24-hour coverage of Hurricane Ivan."

"So now you sniff out drugs! That�s it, no more TV cop show"

"People, we're writing a reality show. Use some imagination!"

"Forget the reality in our reality shows. We need better scripts."

It's a new medical reality show, do you mind?

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

'No individual's , or group's feelings were hurt during the making of this film...'

'They handle only cases we think we can solve in an hour.'

"Actually I'm conducting a little experiment for the BBC"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'