Tv Producer Prints

"So. . . who'd like to have a go at defining Britishness?"

"yes, but why do me want a cookie."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

TV - Please stand buy. We've run out of ideas.

'And who are your chosen subjects?'

'Books that stayed books.'

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

Audience given prompt to laugh: 'I don't think it's funny either - Now laugh!'

BBC Scheduling Meeting, "The correct answer was no, we don't need another quiz show, so that's five points to the other team."

Studio Manager: 'Righto, you're on Chef. Break a egg!'

'Get real! Reality is, Reality sells'

Game, Set...Naptime

Showbiz is tough

Senior Jeopardy!

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

"Won't anybody say anything?"

Drivel TV, "Coming up after the break- people who feel compelled to talk absolute crap on television"

Angels watch hell on a flatscreen.

'There's a thin line between good taste and bad taste. Does anyone know where that line is?'

Sex & Violence

"So now you sniff out drugs! That�s it, no more TV cop show"

Live water cooler.

'They handle only cases we think we can solve in an hour.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"CNN will have 24-hour coverage of Hurricane Ivan."

'Notice to viewers: to spice up with candidates' debates, we've added a laugh track.'

'Casualty, Take one' clapper board traps persons finger

The Weather Channel Fall Lineup

"The following program is brought to you by a destroyer of the rainforest who wishes to remain anonymous."

'The story you are about to see is based on fact, but we added lots of contrived nonsense to maintain market share.'

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

INTERACTIVE TV

'No individual's , or group's feelings were hurt during the making of this film...'

'This morning we start a special feature in which we surprise an average American at home as they prepare for a new day.'