Television Production Prints

A movie director shouting through bullhorn.

Broom Operators Deserve Better

'It's a new reality show call 'Detoxing with the Stars'...'

"People, we're writing a reality show. Use some imagination!"

"I'm shopping my prison video around, but apparently if you don't shiv another inmate or become someone's bitch nobody's interested."

Oh, Liam. I thought you were dead. I thought I would never see you again! Is that why you married … my brother? … Oh, Caroline … it's doesn't matter. When the mafia held me captive in a seaside cave all these years, the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of you. Caroline ... who is that mysterious stranger lurking outside your bedroom window? Is it yet another lover? No, it's me. Frank. The executive producer. You can cut all this out, we've been canceled. The market can't support mor

"Yes, but why do me want cookie?"

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'The head of our script department!'

'Uh-oh! Looks like there's going to be a fight.'

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Horror movies

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Television Readers.

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.