Tv Production Gifts

"... but when the broadcasting company sent him $5,000 for his first script we laughed out of the other side of our mouths."

"...And now for the local news."

"The network asked him to lower costs by making local content in China."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

TV jester.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Tree house.

Applause

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"Downton Abbey Road"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Local News in Heaven

Senior Jeopardy!

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'