Tv Commercial Expert Gifts

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

If nobody had invented graphics

'We've re-branded.'

Direct Marketing...

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"That's our new church mascot."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Side effects may include....'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Tim's marketing solutions

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

'It has everything... I love it!'

London Olympics.

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Mr. Gridley writes blurbs for tombstones.'

'Bandwagon Marketing & Advertising... Specializing in political candidates.'

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

"I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters....that'll be £15,000."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

Where Are They Now?

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

Lard Lite - Marketing

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

"How much marketing do we need to save this situation?"

Brutally Honest Books

"Wake up! You were having a nightmare. Don't worry. Your demographic is still marketable."