Tv Commercial Enthusiast Gifts

'Why not send us some money before you pop your clogs - it will make you feel better?'

'Are your game broadcasts interrupted by screaming TV pitch men...'

"How can you sit there watching one commercial after another?"

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

'Side effects may include....'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

As Seen Watching TV

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

This Space Available.

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

Eat More Salted Nuts

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

And if it's successful, we'll do an infomercial.

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

"He's a genius at product placement."

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

'I love it, the chief loves it. The client loves it but the Gods don't love it.'

'When you caught yourself saying the repetitive never-ending TV commercials and couldn't stop doing it, you should have come to see me then!'

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

"They do say results will vary."