Tv Advertising Critic Gifts

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Can't Touch This

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Side effects may include....'

Your ad here!

Can't Touch This

Christmas TV...

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

CATCHY NAME

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

A TV tank

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

Posters of the Sahara