Tv Commercial Critics Gifts

'Tired of dry dry dog food? Stir-fried doggy dips will make you sit up and woof for more!'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

Can't Touch This

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

'Side effects may include....'

Roads with a view.

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"You don't have to answer that."

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."