Tv Critics Gifts

TV Listings

World War 3 live on T.V. "The special effects are lousy compared to the jeans commercials"

'You're right... it is more thought provoking.'

'I think I liked it better back when there were only three networks insulting our intelligence.'

Lifestyles of the rich and famous and indicted

'They leave the TV on for me during the day when they go to work: Boy daytime TV is boring!'

'Let's loathe a little television.'

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from depression.'

'Now that's what I call a reality show!'

''Star Trek,' or 'The Waltons' I could understand... but a 'Geraldo' marathon?'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'What if this is as good as it gets?'

'$3000 for a digital hi-def T.V., and there's still nothing on!'

'Everything is illusory, but television is ESPECIALLY illusory.'

"Why can't David Blaine just stick himself somewhere and not involve he rest of us?"

"It's not a night scope view of anything, I think our picture tube just blew."

'It's pretty clear the level of intelligence the programs are targeting.'

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

'Sometimes I wonder about PBS -- they're counting down the top 100 Gregorian chants.'

'ITV says cost-cutting doesn't mean there'll be a load of tat on their schedules - it's nothing to DO with the cost-cutting.'

'Fancy relocating to the pub for a couple of hours?'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Can't Touch This

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'