Tv Critics Gifts

TV Listings

World War 3 live on T.V. "The special effects are lousy compared to the jeans commercials"

'You're right... it is more thought provoking.'

'I think I liked it better back when there were only three networks insulting our intelligence.'

Lifestyles of the rich and famous and indicted

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

'They leave the TV on for me during the day when they go to work: Boy daytime TV is boring!'

'Let's loathe a little television.'

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from depression.'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Bill O'Reilly'

'Now that's what I call a reality show!'

''Star Trek,' or 'The Waltons' I could understand... but a 'Geraldo' marathon?'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'What if this is as good as it gets?'

'$3000 for a digital hi-def T.V., and there's still nothing on!'

'Everything is illusory, but television is ESPECIALLY illusory.'

"Why can't David Blaine just stick himself somewhere and not involve he rest of us?"

"It's not a night scope view of anything, I think our picture tube just blew."

'It's pretty clear the level of intelligence the programs are targeting.'

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

'Sometimes I wonder about PBS -- they're counting down the top 100 Gregorian chants.'

Carcrash Television.

'ITV says cost-cutting doesn't mean there'll be a load of tat on their schedules - it's nothing to DO with the cost-cutting.'

Downton Abbey

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

'Fancy relocating to the pub for a couple of hours?'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

Diogenes has lowered his target from finding an honest man --- Now he just looks for a reality show that doesn't feel scripted.

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

American Idle.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'What does it say, Dad?'