Tv Advertising Critic Pillows

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Can't Touch This

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Side effects may include....'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Your ad here!

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

CATCHY NAME

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

Posters of the Sahara

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."