Television Ad Critics Pillows

'Warning . . . this product may cause tiredness, poor vision, achy back, joint pain, wrinkles. . .'

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Side effects may include....'

The following is a paid political announcement.

Your ad here!

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

CATCHY NAME

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"You don't have to answer that."

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Posters of the Sahara

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

"Why is that? Are you not confident that you'd be able to do it properly?"

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

Adjusted sales pitch: 'Congratulations! You may already be a non-winner.'

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

"Do you suffer from bald spots? Try 'Branches in a Can'!!"

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

Dodgy Marketing

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

'No, the nude scene isn't essential to the plot, but we need it for the posters.'

'But first... a word from Mount Sinai National Bank.'

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

"Why can't David Blaine just stick himself somewhere and not involve he rest of us?"