Turning Fifty Gifts

RAF Rapidly Approaching Fifty

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Fifty

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'I'm turning fifty, balding and thirty pounds overweight. Quite frankly, I can't think of anything scarier than that'

At fifty you get man bangs

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'Something past its best - it's for her fiftieth birthday.'

"I don't think she's this happy to be turning fifty."

"Your contents have shifted."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Gary turns 40.

Inside One's Memory Bank

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Do you think I'm sixty?

Ed's receding hairline!

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Tattoos sagging with time

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"