Fabulous At Fifty Gifts

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Your contents have shifted."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Tattoos sagging with time

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

A senior moment.

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Gee....Al's losing his pimento!...."

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Manopause: The time when a man has more hair growing out of his nose and ears than he does his head.

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

'Mildred....is that you?'