50th Birthday Gifts

Tattoos sagging with time

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

We are 50 going on 15...

Funky at 50!

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Don't panic. It's only the candles on Jeff's birthday cake setting off the smoke alarm."

"At first it bothered me, but then I realized, 50 growth rings is the new 40 growth rings."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Bitchbark Canoe

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'I sent out for everything.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Tartine

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Young Frankenstein"

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"How can you be out of wings?"