Approaching 50 Gifts

"The closer I get to 50 the more I think it's young."

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Tattoos sagging with time

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!

"Gee....Al's losing his pimento!...."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'