Approaching 50 Pillows

"The closer I get to 50 the more I think it's young."

"Your contents have shifted."

Inside One's Memory Bank

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Do you think I'm sixty?

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Tattoos sagging with time

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

A senior moment.

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

David Blaine, Age 60

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Gee....Al's losing his pimento!...."

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!