50th Anniversary Pillows

A senior moment.

'Since when did they change 50 years from 'Golden Anniversary' to 'Remote Control Anniversary?''

"I'm just as ambivalent about her as the day we met, fifty years ago."

"You have a nice range of Golden Wedding Anniversary cards, but I'm looking for more Old 'un than Golden."

Swans holding 50 balloons.

"Your contents have shifted."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Tattoos sagging with time

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

Midlife: You Are Here.

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Gee....Al's losing his pimento!...."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

Manopause: The time when a man has more hair growing out of his nose and ears than he does his head.

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'Mildred....is that you?'