Turning Sixty Gifts

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"60's not old, it's experienced."

SAS - Steadily approaching sixty

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Ed's receding hairline!

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"The cape comes off too."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

The Aging of Underwear

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."