Turning Sixty Gifts

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"60's not old, it's experienced."

SAS - Steadily approaching sixty

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Your contents have shifted."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Inside One's Memory Bank

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

The Aging of Underwear

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'