Turning 62 Gifts

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"Your contents have shifted."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Inside One's Memory Bank

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Church Basement Foodie

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Do you think I'm sixty?

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

The Aging of Underwear

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

Medication for the elderly

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'