Trophy Tyrant Pillows

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Man to other about fish on wall: Heh - I use that size fish for bait!'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Guess who netted it.'

Fishing Boat Derby

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

"For crying out loud, cut that thing loose! It's just not worth a trophy."

"No screen time means more scream time."

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

Executive fitness.

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'No bonus this year, Felton, but I've nominated you for a Grammy.'

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

"Thanks for the 'Doctor's excuse' but I like to write my own material."

U S football.

'Don't change the channel.'

Turkish president promises end of state of emergency when elected.

"I've always admired you. I find your complete lack of compassion refreshing."

Fantasy Football Awards: 'The trophy to the Monday morning quarterback with the widest end zone...'

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

Woman sees towels with 'Mine' on all of them