Toy Tyrant Pillows

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

A young Don King

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"No screen time means more scream time."

Executive fitness.

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Snow globe: "We're expecting clear skies... unless the kid comes along and shakes us up..."

Woman sees towels with 'Mine' on all of them

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

'Don't change the channel.'

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

"Dad, can you get one that has a toy inside?"

'I didn't get it all done in a day.'

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

Santa Claus delivers toys and Apps.

"Don't think being an evil overlord is all fun and games."

Slacker Husband

"He just loves the lumps of gold you bought him last year."

"Do your folks know you're into guns?"

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

"Not eating right? But I haven't spilled a thing."

'I put it up just for his self-esteem.'