Tiny Tyrant Pillows

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

"He likes it."

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"No screen time means more scream time."

Executive fitness.

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Shouldn't I be home in bed or something?'

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

'I understand how I was born; I want to know why.'

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

Woman sees towels with 'Mine' on all of them

'Don't change the channel.'

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'Let's get ready for daycare!!'

Slacker Husband

"Not eating right? But I haven't spilled a thing."

"Don't think being an evil overlord is all fun and games."

'I put it up just for his self-esteem.'

"Decrees are old fashioned. I now rule by tweets."

"His bark is bigger than his bite."

"Okay! I'll clean my room....but we both know I'll just mess it up again!"

'Get in there and clean up your room!'

Telephone being thrown from a window in frustration