Toy Tyrant T-Shirts

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

A young Don King

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'This is my natural habitat.'

I don't trust banks. I keep some of my money right here. It's prudent to have a financial cushion.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"No screen time means more scream time."

Executive fitness.

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

'Son, you need to describe the boy who took your yo-yo to our Etch-A-Sketch artist.'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Snow globe: "We're expecting clear skies... unless the kid comes along and shakes us up..."

'I didn't get it all done in a day.'

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

Woman sees towels with 'Mine' on all of them

"Dad, can you get one that has a toy inside?"

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

'Don't change the channel.'

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

Santa Claus delivers toys and Apps.

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

"Don't think being an evil overlord is all fun and games."

"He just loves the lumps of gold you bought him last year."

"Not eating right? But I haven't spilled a thing."

Slacker Husband

"Do your folks know you're into guns?"