Tribal Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I ate something that strongly disagreed with me!"

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

Alpine Pipe

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

'Gee, Doc; why the long face?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

'I've pencilled in time for the grieving process.'

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

'Relax Smithers, he is just a head hunter, they leave the rest of you alone.'

'Don't you mean rubbish; we're in England!'

'Boy, your wife sure can cook.'

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

Sinking Cow

Angels

"We need any eggs?"

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'Does it have voice mail and text messaging?'

"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."

'She's waiting for her ship to come in, and I'm waiting for the cows to come home!'

"Just trying to get in on that whole 'farm-to-table' thing..."

'We won the battle with the Sue tribe, but we'll be in the courts for years.'

Yep, lookee there. You made yet another vine.

"I'm SICK of townies thinking they can let their animals run amok across my land chasing sheep..."

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"

"Damn it, Bill! Don't tell me you forgot to put the time on the invite."