Tribal Humorist Gifts

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Yes, one is a dog."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

"Too much concealer?"

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Hats and Food

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Pray for me.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

No jay walking.