Nomad Humorist Gifts

'My phone isn't mobile, but my home is?'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Deer Season Open.

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Try me/try me/try me...

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Bicycle sat nav.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"Get out of my face!"

I told you we were late!

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Flight simulator'

'Pray for me.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Slug Bait- snails love it

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"