Nomad Humorist Pillows

'My phone isn't mobile, but my home is?'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Try me/try me/try me...

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Bicycle sat nav.

"Get out of my face!"

"Didn't you just say that?"

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Flight simulator'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Pray for me.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Slug Bait- snails love it

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"