Travel Humorist Pillows

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

"No, you're not in a box. You're in an exit row. And I need you to acknowledge that verbally."

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. . ."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Road sign reads; 'Welcome to First Impression. Lasting Impression Next 3 Exits.'

'I know were migratory birds, but do we really have to do this every spring and fall?'

'Welcome to Florida. Do you know your evacuation route?'

"Damn the Germans got here first!"

'I see you've been abroad again, Mr Pringle!'

'It's only until tourism picks up.'

'I saved 10 minutes at the hotel with speedy checkout, 10 minutes at the car rental with instant check in. Now I'm spending 6 hours on the runway.'

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

Prison on an airplane

"The flight time today is five hours in first class and twelve and a half in coach."

It's alright darling, I'm driving hands free

"Not only do they all speak fluent English, but they keep correcting your grammar."

"I'm not going anywhere special. I just really like airplane food"

Check-in - 'Did you pack this case yourself Sir?' (case full of money)

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'Any chance of an upgrade...?'

'There's a fee for each carry on bag, including your bag of potato chips.'

"Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest."

"The airline will review your claim in 90 days ... or you can take your pick of any bag off the next arrival."

'It was rated on all the travel websits, best economy cruise.'

We're frequent rowers. Any chance of an upgrade?

'This room has a water view if you use your smart phone. There's a video cam on the hotel roof.'

'Are they friendly?'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Airplane Tickets.

'We're going to be doing a water landing! Please put these on immediately!'

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"How many bags to check in, sir?" "Only one piece of hand luggage." (case in the shape of a giraffe).

"I've reported it to the Flight Engineer. He said, 'It's nothing to worry about!"

"Don't blame me, the tourist brochure says it's one of the World's great spectacles."