Travel Humorists Pillows

'Pardon, Monsieur. What is time, please?' Man replies: 'Time is the non-spatial continuum in which events occur in irreversible succession from the past to the future.'

Why do I need a CAT scan? I just had a whole body scan at the airport.

"We have a new and cunning plan - we're going to inject the Soil with Viagra."

"Now boarding all passengers seated in Discomfort Class."

"I've worked out this sat nav thing...oh we're already here..."

Cramped airport departure lounge.

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'Arrivals' 'Drugs Mule'

London Zoom.

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'All we have for Paris is a flight that makes a detour over Iran. It's a drone.'

Excess Baggage: Cruise passengers can come up with some pretty amazing questions.

Gondolier Hat

"Okay smart arse you choose our holiday destination next time!!"

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

"Looks like on of those 'Staycationers' in his motor home."

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

"You can't take your wife as a carry on."

'Could you check row ten? I think I left a few things in the seat back pocket.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

People Holidaying in the Highlands

Passenger profiling takes a new turn.

Business acquaintances on holiday

Echo Point.

'We thought we'd buy a few bottles of duty free wine before migrating north for the summer.'

Wife leaves husband for airline pilot

Welcome to the Bland Canyon. I trust you bought some board games.

'I'm sorry, sir... But you can't bring that on board.'

I'm sorry, sir, but your luggage was deemed offensive and destroyed.

A passenger presses the service button upon seeing fish outside his window.

'I decided not to migrate because I get jet lag.'