Nature-inspired Humorist Gifts

The Sensitive Dude.

"Something with a 'moose call' ringtone."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Deer Season Open.

'It's an extinction notice.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"Too much concealer?"

Try me/try me/try me...

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

I told you we were late!

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Get out of my face!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

'Pray for me.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"