Nature-inspired Humorist Gifts

The Sensitive Dude.

"Something with a 'moose call' ringtone."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Get out of my face!"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Pray for me.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Giraffe Portrait