Nature Humourist Gifts

"Hi Honey, I'm home"

'It's not your hosta plant the snails come back for �' it's the fairground thrills you keep giving them'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Deer Season Open.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Try me/try me/try me...

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Get out of my face!"

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

I told you we were late!

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

'Pray for me.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

Penguin

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Slug Bait- snails love it

"Do you think the birds like me?"