Quirky Nature Humorist Gifts

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

Deer Season Open.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Try me/try me/try me...

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Glance Exchange

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Optimist

"How about a hand."

"It's just a tree."

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."