Cross-cultural Humorist Gifts

Monk and Nut Cracker

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'Yes, all at once!'

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

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"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

The Scottish Lawn

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'I can't pronounce either his name or the out-sourced country where he works.'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"When did this game get started?"

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Cover story: Plant World.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"Hey how do you spell Abominable?"

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

'I could murder a pint!'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

Canadian wildfires