Cross-cultural Humor Fan Gifts

'Don't you mean rubbish; we're in England!'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'Check out the old dude.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

The Snooze Bar.

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Beer Parasol.

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

The Pencil and Sharpener