Cultural Humor Lover Gifts

Lemonade and Etrogade Stands

"Tosser!"

'Yes, I'm from Egypt... How did you guess?'

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Karate Yid

'I had a nap last night and now I can't do my siesta.'

A Mexican swine with flu.

"Look at this! It's a new cereal that targets Latino consumers. Oh man...don't tell your abuelita you're eating this."

Larry's used art

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Grace For Flies

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

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Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"States of tofu"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

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