Territorial Humorist Gifts

“Hey You Get off of my cloud”

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

I fart more than that!

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

A Venus cow trap.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

The leaning tower of Pizza.

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'