Regional Humorist Gifts

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

California Beverages Map

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

COWS: Spare cow

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."