Ethnic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'You're having Hispanic attacks.'

"There's not a large audience for your type of ethnic humor. After all, how many Peruvian-Greeks are there?"

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

"Your Jewish shtick didn't work, you don't come across as gay..can you be a minority?"

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

'I can't pronounce either his name or the out-sourced country where he works.'

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

Japa-knees

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"I ate something that strongly disagreed with me!"

La Tour 2007.

'I've pencilled in time for the grieving process.'

'Don't you mean rubbish; we're in England!'

"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."

My sister just had twins, Lance! A boy and a girl! What an all-encompassing birth! You can't do better than that! What about triplets? A boy, a girl, and a transvestite. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-16).

"She was a good turtle."

Karate Yid

Chugger

'Oi, you lot, I don't want any funny business.'

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

'Sorry, I never know what to do with my hands in social situations.'

Lemon Grizzle Cake

CR was here. Tony rules! Hello, I'm a Nigerian general's widow. I have a large amount of securities that I need to transfer. Graffiti was bad enough, but now we have graffiti spam!

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

Two water towers, 'HOT, COLD'.

'On your mark...'

'Go up there and get those guys busy!'

'What if I am blocking the doorway...It's my shop!'