Tribal Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"I ate something that strongly disagreed with me!"

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

Alpine Pipe

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'Gee, Doc; why the long face?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

'I've pencilled in time for the grieving process.'

'Don't you mean rubbish; we're in England!'

'Relax Smithers, he is just a head hunter, they leave the rest of you alone.'

Angels

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

Sinking Cow

'Boy, your wife sure can cook.'

"We need any eggs?"

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'Does it have voice mail and text messaging?'

"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."

'She's waiting for her ship to come in, and I'm waiting for the cows to come home!'

'We won the battle with the Sue tribe, but we'll be in the courts for years.'

"Damn it, Bill! Don't tell me you forgot to put the time on the invite."

"I'm SICK of townies thinking they can let their animals run amok across my land chasing sheep..."

"Just trying to get in on that whole 'farm-to-table' thing..."

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"