Treat Taming Master Gifts

'Watch this... I have him trained to give me a treat every time I shake his hand.'

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Secretive Weigh In.

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

To do before Saturday...

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Education Guidance

Know your dog - The brain.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

'Is he sitting?'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

'I need a new challenge...'

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

"I'm starting a new diet today. Let's go out for ice cream to celebrate."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

Self Service, Self Denial

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you start recording.

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

'Ohhh,a test of willpower eh?? YOU'RE ON!!'

"You must learn to fight temptation: the only businesses open at night tend to be bars and nightclubs..."

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'