Travel Pessimist Gifts

'I've had more fun at the airport.'

The fate of the emigrant

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats."

Doom & Gloom

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

"Die alone"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

'Memo: Cancel flight.'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

This will be a banner day for you!

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

Stanley Middleton

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

"I'm starting to think those rave reviews about this place are rigged."

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'Well, I don't care WHAT you say - it's the biggest hotel pool I've ever seen!'

'About time... my parents are keeping me here against my will.'

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."

Motorway services charging extra if you want your food cooked.