Travel Critic Gifts

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'Memo: Cancel flight.'

"I'm starting to think those rave reviews about this place are rigged."

Poverty in Tourist Attractions

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Easter Island legs

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Fight or Flight

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

Walking Luggage.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Are we there yet?'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

The World's Easiest Airport

Tourists in Egypt

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."