Travel Critique Gifts

'What's all that about, is there a match in France?'

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and Rachel took the one less traveled... Huge mistake."

Have you considered a career in travel brochures?

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

'The tales I could tell, sonny... I've marked my way across 7 continents, from the Kelly green hydrants of Belfast to the salty yellow curbs of old Shanghai...'

'You know how you can never be bothered to read Tim and Sue's postcards?'

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

The Antiquary

"Lest we forget, dear Tenzing, it's about the journey and not the destination."

Your Luggage

The Photographer

The back of the Taj Mahal.

"Well, they did say half-board."

'Memo: Cancel flight.'

'Don't you have any maps of undiscovered secrets of ancient temples?'

'I'm not a famous writer, but I do make enough money to travel the country and sleep in my car.'

"I thought you said you paid extra for a cabinet with a Seaview."

Galley Plane.