Travel Critique Gifts

'What's all that about, is there a match in France?'

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Have you considered a career in travel brochures?

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and Rachel took the one less traveled... Huge mistake."

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

The Adventures of Tom Friedman, Boy Reporter

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

'You know how you can never be bothered to read Tim and Sue's postcards?'

'The tales I could tell, sonny... I've marked my way across 7 continents, from the Kelly green hydrants of Belfast to the salty yellow curbs of old Shanghai...'

The Antiquary

Your Luggage

The back of the Taj Mahal.

'Memo: Cancel flight.'

The Photographer

'Don't you have any maps of undiscovered secrets of ancient temples?'

"Well, they did say half-board."

"Lest we forget, dear Tenzing, it's about the journey and not the destination."

Nothing to Lose But Our Knees

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

Galley Plane.