Trash Gastronomist Gifts

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

An anglerfish lights up rubbish at the bottom of the ocean

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

"Mmm....say, cookie! What's this garbage you're feeding us?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"What will change my life?"

'They must be trash fish!'

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

"I'll have the artist's lunch, if there is such."

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

"Don't be late - I'm making moldy meat and orange peels over coffee grinds with a side of egg shells."

House of Beans.

"The chef would like to thank you for filling in the questionnaire and after watching you on our CCTV, he has these comments for you: You all chose the wrong wine and cutlery with your food and...'"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Why the free meal?'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Smelly fish.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

Murphy's Slaw.

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

"Well,that must be a television FIRST-Delia Smith BURNING a roast!!!'

'Is that the food or is that the service?'