Trappist Monk Gifts

Shut Up

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Computer literate Monk

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

Gracebook.

Pray as you Go.

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

"This year I'm really gonna get organized."

'I keep mine on my IPod.'

'It costs a lot to get it delivered out here, but I LOVE the Sunday crossword!'

No caption. (Friar wears a cross and the chord leads to his ears as it does with a MP3 player.)

"You must lose your attachments."

'Actually I'm meditating on a bizarre anime that I saw last night.'

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Yep, I'm alone.'

Monk on PC.

Big Brother in Monastery.

'I hired a decorator.'

Monks haircutting with compasses